


Two Years Later

by thekindworthreading



Series: Hamlaf Week 2020 [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Established Relationship, Hamlaf Week 2020, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:10:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26410117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekindworthreading/pseuds/thekindworthreading
Summary: Alex travels back in time to visit his boyfriend.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette
Series: Hamlaf Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1914391
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Two Years Later

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Hamlaf Week Day 5 - Time Travel and I managed not to cry while writing this (almost)

Alex knows that it´s a mistake to come here, but how could he not? He slowly walks up to the house – _their_ house – still indecisive if he should actually go inside. After a moment of just standing there and staring in through the window, he decides that it would be easier for all of them, if he just jumped back into his own time. It would hurt even more, if he´d stay here anyway. He is about to do just that, when the front door opens and Lafayette steps out, frowning at him.

“Alex, didn´t you want to meet with John?”, he asks, and for a moment all Alex can do is stare at him and try not to cry.

His throat feels tight and he has to do his best not to run over to Laf and hug him and never let go. Instead he gives him a – hopefully – amused smile, slowly walking up to him.

“John called me when I was about halfway there and said he´d forgotten about an appointment, so I came back here.”

The lie comes out easily and Alex knows that it will all come crashing down on him, but he would do anything if it means he gets to hold Laf one more time. Laf rolls his eyes and steps back into the house, Alex following him hesitantly.

“Then why were you lurking outside there and didn´t just come back in?”

“I wasn´t lurking.”, Alex gives back indignantly.

“Sure, but honestly, that´s such a John thing to do, n'est-ce pas? Making an appointment and forgetting about it.”, Laf says amused, and Alex has to force himself to laugh at it.

“Yeah it is.”, he agrees, though he feels a bit bad talking shit about John, when it´s not even true.

Laf flops down on the couch and regards him with a thoughtful expression.

“Didn´t you wear a different hoodie earlier? The coffee one?”, he asks, and Alex feels a pang of fear.

“I changed it right before I went out. I felt more like wearing that one.”

Alex thinks that there is a slight tremble in his voice, but Laf just hums, patting the couch next to him.

“Do you want to stand there and stare at me all day or are you going to join me?”, Laf asks playfully, and Alex can feel his heart starting to beat faster in his chest.

He hasn´t really thought about what he´d do once he gets here, and now that he is united with his lover, he doesn´t really know what to do. To make things less awkward, Alex walks over to the couch, sitting down next to Laf, but still far enough away from him, that they aren´t touching.

“You are acting very weird today.”, Laf accuses, but there is still a smile on his face.

“Am I now?”, Alex gives back, hoping that his voice is sounding playful and not scared.

“Oui. You are very much are, mon ange.”

The use of the pet name feels a bit like a stab in Alexander´s heart, and he feels his eyes filling with tears. To hide his reaction from Lafayette, he cuddles against him, pressing his face into the crook of his neck.

“Maybe you are the one acting weird.”, Alex says, his voice sounding wrong, even to his own ears.

He feels Laf pressing a kiss to the top of his head and Alex bites his lip to keep himself from letting out a sob. They stay like this for some time and if Laf thinks something is off about him, he doesn´t mention it. Alex had missed this so much, and he can barely bear the crushing feeling of longing and loneliness. He feels broken and lost, sure that he will shatter into a million pieces, if Lafayette ever lets go of him. In the end, it´s Alex who pulls away, looking up at Laf with a sheepish grin. He is pretty sure his eyes are red and puffy and there is no way to hide that he has cried.

“I really don´t know what´s up today.”, he lies, hoping that Laf will believe him.

His lover just looks at him for a moment, before he gently brushes the tears from his cheeks. Alex can´t supress the shudder at that, leaning into the touch and closing his eyes for a moment.

“I know that you´re not him, that you´re not my Alex.”, Laf says quietly, and instantly Alexander´s eyes snap open again.

For a second Alex thinks about lying to him, to pretend that he doesn´t know what he is talking about, but his reaction has probably already given him away. He swallows a few times, trying to get rid of the tight feeling in his throat, but it doesn´t really work. Instead, he starts sobbing, his whole body trembling with how much he is crying. Laf watches him for a moment, before he pulls Alex against his chest, gently stroking his hair and back like he has always done to help Alex calm down. This familiar gesture only causes Alex to cry harder so that he is barely able to breathe anymore.

“Shh, I got you, mon ange. Everything will be alright.”, Laf whispers. “You´ll be alright. I´m here.”

Alex lets out a whimper clinging desperately to Laf.

“No, you´re not. You´re gone.”, he cries, not really thinking about the consequences of his words.

Alex doesn´t know how long they stay like this, but it feels like an eternity, before he stops crying. He can already feel a headache starting to grow, which just makes him feel worse.

“So, something happened to me, right?”, Laf asks finally, and Alex nods.

“When-?”, Laf continues, but Alex shakes his head before he can even finish the question.

“You know I can´t tell you. You know I´m not even supposed to be here.”

Laf nods reluctantly, gently squeezing Alexander´s hands.

“I´m sorry.”

“It´s not your fault.”

Laf just shrugs.

“It feels like it is.”

Alex drops his gaze, staring at their intertwined fingers for a moment.

“I miss you.”, Alex mumbles, looking up at his lover again. “It´s hard without you. But there is still hope.”

Laf frowns, thinking about Alexander´s words for a bit.

“So I´m not dead.”, he concludes. “´There is still hope.` Does this mean I´m lost?”

 _Lost_. Alex shudders at that word and nearly starts crying again.

“So it´s true? I didn´t come back from a time travel session?”

“I can´t tell you.”

Laf nods and pulls him into a hug again, placing a kiss on top of his head.

“How long do you have until you have to go back?”

Alex glances at his watch and feels his insides twist in fear at the prospect of going back to the present, where his Laf is still lost in another timeline.

“Half an hour.”, he says flatly.

Laf hums and gives him a pained smile.

“Okay, what do you want to do, mon ange?”

Alex shrugs, blinking away the tears and does his best time return the smile.

 _Stay._ He thinks, but it would be cruel to say it out loud.

“Doesn´t matter as long as it´s with you.”

“Okay.”, Laf whispers. He sounds close to tears as well, which only makes it harder for Alex.

“Okay.”, Alex gives back.

For a moment, they just stare at each other, before Laf lets out a soft laugh.

“Is it cheating when I kiss the future version of my boyfriend?”, he asks, and Alex can´t help but let out a strangled laugh as well.

“I don´t think it is.”, he mumbles. “Time is weird, ya know.”

Laf nods, looking at Alex for a moment longer, before he leans forward and softly kisses him. It takes Alex a moment, but then he manages to get lost in the kiss and he can almost pretend that everything is still alright. They spend the rest of the time Alex has like this, just exchanging soft kisses, like this would make everything alright again. He pulls away from Laf when he feels the tell-tale dizziness overtaking him and his heart shatters into a million pieces.

“It´s time.”, he says quietly, and Laf nods.

“I love you. Always have, always will. Just know that.”

“I love you too. Always have, always will.”, Alex echoes, the words almost costing him physical effort.

“It´ll be alright, mon ange.”

Alex isn´t sure it will be, but for the sake of his lover, he nods.

“I know.”

Alex feels the dizziness increasing, but he forces himself to stay for another few seconds, despite knowing how dangerous it is.

“Can I come back?”, he asks, but he already knows the answer.

The last thing he sees before everything blurs, is Laf shaking his head, taking the last of Alexander´s hope with him. He drops down on the same couch he was sitting before, just two years later in time. He breaks down sobbing, but in this time, there is no one here to hold him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Pls leave a comment what you thought of it! You can also request fics on my tumblr @whatdidimissjm and if you like what I do and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee (https://ko-fi.com/whatdidimissjm)!


End file.
